She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
