that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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