There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
