Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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