I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
