How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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