Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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