am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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