I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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