so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
