Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
