just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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