Your tits are I can't wait for
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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