Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
