maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
