careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if only i could text you this smell
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize