who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
