Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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