Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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