Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
