Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
