did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
