its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
