did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
