SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
