how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
