i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
