:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
