And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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