I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
