I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
