you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Two words: nipple clamps
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