I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish my penis had an off switch
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
