I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize