weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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