Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
