Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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