My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
