it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
