I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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