I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
ttyl tear gas
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
