You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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