no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
