but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
