I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
