I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
