I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
