I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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