nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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