Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
