I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
