so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
