no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
there is glitter all over my balls
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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