I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
