you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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