beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
