What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
