thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
